Jeremy, who gave the "stink eye" and the "kick-you-ass-head-nod" to another Safeway patron for making rude comments about my legs and thighs. By the time Jeremy realized the elderly gentleman was indeed parked in his wheelchair next to the discounted frozen chicken it was too late and his caveman like gesture went unappreciated. Poor guy.
The grown woman wearing the purple tube top and her 10yr old daughter's booty shorts who got stuck inside a play structure thus trapping 4 toddlers on the twisty slide. After idol threats of a retaining a lawyer she was finally freed via the shift manager on duty and some helpful advise from the 3yr olds politely waiting above her. You made the hell that is McDonald's Playland a little more appealing.
The Ross Dress 4 Less sales associate for running my 2yr old over with a rolling clothes rack. You were right, that was an important text message you were responding to at the time of your blatant toddler crushing. The store manager was right to side with you. Don't worry, I wont come back to the store again until my daughter has grown a few more inches and can be seen over the clothing racks...just like you suggested.
The LDS missionaries for stopping by unannounced and talking all the way thru the season finally of American Idol. Here's some helpful advise young missionary:
1. If it's 8:30 at night, my kids are in bed and the hubby and I are most likely making out on the couch. Don't stop by, don't knock, just keep peddling that beauty of mountain bike on down the road.
2. If the house lights suddenly go dark moments after you knock on the door it means we've looked thru the peep hole and and have retreated to our safe-spot behind the kitchen counter w/ our children bribing them w/ generic strawberry soda so they'll keep quiet. So please, don't bother ringing the door bell, we know it's still you...we've been fooled before.
3. Last but not least...If I wanted you to come over for dinner I would have prepared enough food for you, your companion and the 4 other missionaries you brought with you. Just stopping by to say hello at 6 in the evening or casually wondering if we "needed anything" isn't a good excuse...I promise.
I'm sure there are many other people I'm leaving out. Forgive me for not mentioning your name. Know that I love you, you're in my thoughts and I'll probably blog/laugh/cry/talk about you with my husband behind the kitchen counter while filling sippy cups with strawberry soda tonight so, don't feel too left out.