Friday, June 12, 2009

Just a Little Sumthin'

So, I would like to tell you that my absence was due to an all consuming illness and that it was just too much for my broken body and I to travel the 5ft from my bedroom to the office. That would make me a big fat liar. I would like to tell you that I've been busy traveling the country promoting my new book (insert clever title here) but that would make me a liar liar pants on fire. I'm facing the facts here folks, I've been lazy, I've been lethargic, I've gained enough weight this month to walk by a mirror and scream "Bloody hell!!" That's right I'm having one of those months. But lets focus on the positive here. Guess who really is promoting her book this month? That's right...this little gem:

(Kate Gosslin of Jon & Kate Plus 8)

Does anyone else have a problem with her or is it just me? Lets just be honest here. I've watched the show -- many times. I couldn't resist temptation nor could I hold myself back from watching Kate chip away at her husband's self-esteem. Not to mention watch her smack, hit and slap her way to Jon's ultimate humiliation. I don't think I've ever watched an interview with the two of them where Kate's "love taps" didn't leave him comforting a stung shoulder or knee cap. Contributing to the circus that is Jon and Kate plus 8 is not the most responsible thing I've ever done BUT it is absolutely necessary that I lay the matter to rest on this note:

I hate Kate Gosslin's



Now that I have expressed my thoughts on the matters consuming UsWeekly magazine shall we move on? A lot has been going on since I last left you and as concerned/nosy/you-could-really give-a-crap friends belonging my inner circle I want to keep you informed.

Item 1: The mini-van. That's right, Jeremy caved and bought me a mini-van!! My dreams of soccer mom-hood have really come true. I'm that much closer to sporting an honor roll bumper sticker and little stick figure people bearing resemblance to my family members on the back glass. I'm ROCKIN' that mini!! By the way, so is Jeremy. The points laughs and stares coming from all the green-eyed monsters he works with are only wails of jealousy and envy. I've reassured him of this many times.

Item 2: The cats. Living in Arizona has taught me a thing or two about unwelcome creatures that take up residence in homes without consulting it's current occupants. Mice! EWWWWW! The kids thought it was pets! (Riley named them all and cried uncontrolably at each mouse funeral.) No matter how long I cleaned, scrubbed or bleached they would reappear and invite dear 'ol Auntie Icky and Uncle Nastiness along for extended visits. Problem solved with the help of our new feline friends. Riley named his kitty Meow Meow and Haley named her kitty Puppy. Don't ask!

Item 3: Mormon update. The Bishop came by a few times this past month. I cant say no to the guy. He's got to be one of the nicest guys I've ever met (that and he reminds me of my Uncle Ray-- and how could you not love my Uncle Ray!). I'm sure he is currently working on finding us an active "Mormon Buddy" to speed along the process of our re-conversion. If you're not familiar with the "Mormon Buddy" technique its simple:

1. Find unsuspecting active family church members that share absolutely no common interests or background to befriend said inactive Mormon family.

2. Set up "play dates" otherwise known as uncomfortable and abnormally long dinners in which you try not to shoot yourself in the head.

3. When said "Mormon Buddy" is appalled at lack of regular Family Home Evenings, tithe offerings, and church attendance but remain persistent -- its time to pull out the big guns and invite all your ex-communicated family members over for a visit.

So how 'bout it family? I could really use the help!!

Loves from AZ! ~Ang


  1. Hey Angie!! I found your blog off of facebook! Your comments were hilarious! I also can not stand KATE GOSSELIN!! She serisouly would look better in a shaved head than what she is wearin!

    Keep in touch! Our blog is :) Take care!

  2. this cracks me up! I found you through the lds mother with 3 busy kids. I just gotta follow you. I love how totally blunt and honest you are! HILARIOUS!