1. The last time you got your hair done was...
A. Yesterday. I have a standing appointment every six weeks, if I don't show up my hairdresser calls to make sure I'm OK.
B. Hairdresser? Is that what the lady at Supercuts is called?
C. I had my hair cut last week thanks to my daughter, a piece of watermelon Bubbalicious and my husband's safety scissor skills.
2. The last time you had a manicure was...
A. Yesterday, my hair dresser fit me in w/ her nail gal while she touched up my roots and foiled in some new highlights.
B. As long as the Ruby Red Wet N' Wild (nail polish that is) covers 7 out of 10 fingernails who needs a manicure?
C. Last week I got to soak my hands in potty water while retrieving my husband's work keys.
3. The last time you wore of pair of heels that hurt like hell but made you feel like America's Next Top Model was...
A. Saturday night, because every Saturday is date night.
B. A few hours ago while showing my 5 year old son how not to scuff the floor if he insists on wearing them while Daddy is at work.
C. Exactly 2 years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 5 days ago the night our youngest was conceived. All of my heels have mysteriously disappeared from our closet. My husband still maintains his innocence even while under interrogation.
4. The last time you ate a meal that wasn't prepared by you was...
A. Saturday...its date night. Remember?
B. Do goldfish crackers count as a meal? If they do then my son can whip up a pretty mean helping!
C. I may or may not have, accidentally, eaten a booger off the baby's cheek when going in for a goodnight smooch. I try not to think about it.
5. The last time you left the kiddies with the husband for a well deserved time out was...
A. Friday night. Its Lady's night...DUH!
B. Time out? What is this thing you call time out?
C. Yesterday. The 4 1/2 min I spent alone while using the bathroom was heaven!
If you answered "C" to any of these questions -- RUN! Run far away from home and think twice about coming back. Sadly, I have found myself in a "C" kind of situation. I was in a mommy slump, that is until today.
Mother's Day is lovely. The homemade cards, breakfast in bed, cuddles from the kiddies that aren't forced and/or bribed. Its like our own personal Christmas. Jeremy made it especially fabulous for me this year. He sent me away! YEEEESSSS! Here is a financial rundown of how I spent my day.
* Breakfast with girlfriend and drinking all the coffee my bladder could hold
* Purchase of the most awesome vintage aprons in down town hippieville
* Sitting in a bar at 10am while getting the stink eye from a drag queen
* Finding & purchasing a picture of Jesus that looks exactly like our good friend Zach
* Drinking margaritas while getting "the nod" from cute boy at the next table
* Finding perfect pair of hot 'n sexy heels covertly disguised in a Nike shoebox
It is safe to say that my family loves me and I no longer feel the weight of my 5 year slump. Happy Mothers day y'all. Hope it was as awesome as mine!
PS: Dear Jeremy, the picture of Jesus disguised as Zach was a necessity and very much needed to grace the walls of his bathroom. Without it his bathroom decor would be lacking in class and style. Sometimes ya just gotta help a homie out! I knew you would understand.