Monday, April 27, 2009

Anesthesia Not Included

Zelda's butt has slid across my clean carpet for the last time!

Why do I need to write about such things? Do I really need to waste my perfectly good pent up frustration complaining about Zelda's hind quarters?

Yes. Yes I do.

Jeremy and Riley have the awesome responsibility of picking up poop in the back yard, feeding, watering, bathing, and any other pet duties that I find gross and disgusting.

Translation: When dog duties get too gross and disgusting (or smell permeating from back yard and said dog is too much) they wait around for Mom to get fed up and do it herself.

That's how most things work at our house. I'm sure that's how most things work in many good homes across America. I've accepted it, moved on, and continue to gripe about it on a daily basis. However, on Sunday evening I'd had it with our faithful super-hero side kick and demanded that Jeremy take "the nastiness" to the vet. Our carpet could bare no more. So, like a responsible pet owner Jeremy loaded her up in the car, checkbook in hand.

Apparently, Zelda's booty is going to cost us. The vet wants to remove an impacted anal gland. Cost of said impacted anal gland: $230.00 -- anesthesia not included. Darn you Zelda and your inability to control your inside parts! Of course we'll get her fixed up...but my goodness the timing couldn't be more perfect. Do you think Riley would mind a formaldehyde filled jar containing one impacted doggy organ for his birthday? 5 year olds like that kind of stuff right? He could show it to his friends, not to mention sharing the awesome story behind it. It wouldn't make him weird would it?

Zelda came home from the vet this afternoon with much poking and prodding from her new BFF at the Cochise Animal Hospital. She wasn't in the best of moods. Luckily Jeremy got to clean up her newest gift to us in our bedroom before he left for work.

"No...chocolate logs are not for eating!" Jeremy reminds our daughter. I didn't ask. I don't want to know. I just want the evidence removed and Haley bathed (preferably boiled and sanitized) before I get up from the computer in a few moments.

If you would like to donate to the well-being of Zelda's booty please leave me a comment below. We are now accepting donations in the forms of cash, check, money order, & carpet cleaner.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my funny cousin. I remember one fine day when you said that you would love to have more kids. I bet you wish you would have just had sex with your husband instead of buying him a dog to distract him instead. We have a 9 week old White Lab and she has a black head right now because the kids thought it would be fun to put her in a tote, tie the firepit lid to a tie-down from the back of the truck and lower the firepit lid onto the top of her head from the top of the basketball hoop. They called it playing Deadliest Catch, this mom calls it just another mess to clean up. My advice on the poop is to feed the dog Crayons and then the kids will look at cleaning up poop like it is an easter egg hunt and they can see who can collect the most colors.

    Glad to see that you are keeping yourself entertained. I love your blog. You have a gift for writing I seriously think you should be turning this all into a book. With our disfunctional family you could end up with a #1 best seller and some free sessions with Dr.Phil. Love ya cuz! Addie