Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Misdemeanors and Other Serious Crimes Committed by Yours Truly

So my favorite blog in the whole wide world is The Meanest Mom. Check her out...she's only one click away conveniently located on my sidebar. Be sure to check out the reader's favorites especially the post labeled Guilty as Charged!

Meanwhile, here are my own personal misdemeanors/crimes committed against my family:

1. This morning I fed my kids marshmallows for breakfast. Its was easier then pouring the milk over their Coco Puffs.

2. Sometimes, to make Jeremy think I've been cleaning all day, (and not watching old re-runs of Friends on DVD) I put half a cup of Pine Sol down the bathroom and kitchen sinks. Its a virtual pine forest when he walks in but it serves it's purpose.

3. I've convinced Riley that sometimes the sun gets confused and shines in the middle of the night. The extra 30 min of sleep I get each morning is really for every one's well being.

4. Last week I took the batteries from Riley's Leapster and replaced them with the dead ones from the remote control. When he asked me for new ones I scolded him for leaving his toys on and wasting perfectly good batteries.

5. I'm pretty sure I've got at least 2 unfinished bottles of antibiotics with Haley's name on it. I'm not sure why I've kept them. Maybe it's to prove to my pediatrician that I'm not a bad mother...I really was saving them for a much more serious ear infection.

6. I once told my niece that if she didn't let me take her to get her hair cut she would never grow any taller and therefor never be accepted into a good university. Yep, that's right...Community College!! (Thanks to my sister for teaching her daughter about the pitfalls and consequences of a sub-par education.)

7. My kids think that every video game, vending machine, and annoying plastic pony ride are off limits to children who don't eat their vegetables. Their money will not be accepted and they will be incidentally thrown/projected from it's seat.

8. The number of times I dress my kids in the clothes left on the floor from the day before is steadily increasing. 9. When I cut my husband's hair I make sure to tell him how proud of myself I am and that this particular haircut is so much better then the last one I gave him. This way he wont notice the gaping hole I just put in the back of his head. He'll lovingly kiss me on the cheek squeeze my tush and say..."Thanks babe you're awesome." He really has no idea how truly awesome I am :) !

10. When my son started expressing an interest in motorcycles I told him that it was against the law for anyone under 102 years of age to own a motorcycle...especially a Harley Davidson! He is steadily counting down the days and wondering how old his Papaw really is.
Now that the cat is out of the bag its time for you to confess. (That's right Dad I'm looking in your direction.) How many times have you fed your children marshmallows for breakfast? How many toys have mysteriously disappeared from your son's bedroom? We all want to least I do! It will make me feel like less of an unfit mother!

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